Yet another smelled so strongly of Jack Daniels I thought it was cologne. Such dates opened me up to getting to know guys sober, on their end and mine, to see if we were a match. After going on a sober date with someone new, it was then good to go on a drinking date, so to speak—or to a place where alcohol was in the background, not the foreground, to see how the guy handled it.
And how I handled it. In the years since dating my ex, my radar drastically improved. In dating non-alcoholic guys, I found I relish sober activities more than drinking-centric ones.
So what is it like to date an alcoholic?
Natalia Lusinski December 31, 7: Alcoholism can take a devastating toll on your physical health, your emotional well-being, your personal relationships, and your professional life. However, many alcoholics manage to function effectively , holding down jobs and maintaining households. They may hide their alcohol abuse for years without suffering any major losses. But under the surface, this form of alcoholism can cause severe psychological and emotional damage to the alcoholic and his or her loved ones.
There are at least two categories of people involved in alcoholism: How to live with an alcoholic is another aspect to consider when dealing with such an individual. Functional alcoholics differ from others who struggle with alcoholism, primarily in how alcohol affects their lives.
Whether you have an alcoholic husband, wife or other loved one, you may be wondering how to help. An alcoholic can benefit from having an at-home support system before, during and after any form of treatment for their addiction. There are hundreds of resources all over the country designed to address the issue of alcohol abuse and addiction. These include hour hotlines, and rehab and detox centers, including The Recovery Village. Not all alcoholics fall into this stereotype, however.
Tips for Dating When You Want to Be Alcohol-Free
High-functioning alcoholics often seem to have everything going for them. They drink too much, but they excel at work and have good relationships with family and friends. Their success often works against them, making them think they have their drinking under control based upon their achievements. Eventually, whether it takes months or years, alcoholism catches up with them. What makes dealing with high-functioning alcoholics so challenging? Functional alcoholics are often in deep denial about their problem.
After all, they have managed to maintain the appearance of success in spite of their addiction. But most high-functioning alcoholics have friends or loved ones who help them cover up the consequences of their drinking. Functional alcoholics are often intelligent, hardworking, and well-educated. However, it is impossible to continue drinking heavily for a long period of time without suffering the physical and psychological consequences of alcoholism, such as liver disease, heart disease, neurological damage, cancer, or depression. Many of the spouses, significant others, parents, and children of high-functioning alcoholics fall into the trap of codependency , protecting the alcoholic from the consequences of the disease.
Codependents sacrifice their own needs in order to maintain a facade of normalcy at home. Typical codependent behaviors include:. Consciously or unconsciously, the codependent may help the alcoholic to continue drinking in order to maintain the status quo. Many high-functioning alcoholics earn a good living and are able to support their families while continuing to drink. Further, 40 percent of child abusers admitted that they were drinking when they committed their offenses.
For those who are dating a recovering drug addict , it can be quite a shock and it may lead to deeper thought as to where the relationship may head.
What I learned from dating someone with a drinking problem - HelloGiggles
While some people can easily relate to and embrace the fact that everyone as a past, there may be others who may have difficulty in trying to reconcile the two as the relationship moves forward. When you are dating someone who is in recovery, the first thing that you need to know if they are actively working a program and have at least one year of sobriety under their belt. Recovering people can be some of the most healthy people that you will meet, but it takes a lot of hard work in order to get to that point.
You need to know that your partner is being proactive in their recovery and has a healthy balance of activities in their life that support their sobriety. Addiction can bring many consequences including legal problems, considerable debt and dysfunctional family relationships.
These are all issues that need to be discussed at some point during your relationship. As your partner progresses through their recovery, you have to find ways to be supportive as they work through their various issues if you are committed to the relationship long-term. If their baggage is too much to handle, you must be upfront and honest. Support does not mean being a babysitter or protector. The one thing they do want, however, is to know they have your support and encouragement.
Lastly—and perhaps most importantly—you need to know that while your relationship is important, you cannot neglect yourself and your needs.